Shit I Did While Unemployed

I am no stranger to being unemployed. I’ve been fired, downsized, asked to leave, quit, resigned, and every other euphemism you can think of. When I’ve been asked to leave, it was never because I stole money or had poor performance. In fact last time I sat through a five minute speech about what a great employee I am but…

It’s always because I rock the boat. I don’t like being treated unfairly, and I won’t sit still when I see it happening. To me or anyone else. In San Francisco I was fired for standing up for a coworker. She was canned for “looking unbecoming” at work. Her mother had just died. I was HAPPY to speak up on her behalf, and I couldn’t believe that nobody else had the balls to say anything. People keep their mouths shut and fall in line in order to keep their silly job. But why? There are plenty of jobs out there. Why work for assholes? For instance: My last job paid me $12.60 and hour. That’s not a living wage here in Seattle. And that was after two years and three raises. When asked to work from home on projects I was told there wouldn’t be compensation. I was mocked asking, and for refusing to work for free. By my boss. Good riddance. 

I’ve never found anything wrong with being unemployed. Even when living overseas I was able to find work rather quickly. But this time was different. It took me a little over four months to find a job. Four months of looking at Craigslist and Indeed.com. Four months of filling out online applications and four months of first interviews. Four months of no income and the same amount of bills. Four months of wondering if I’d ever find a job. Four months of rice and noodles. It’s hard not to get bogged down in the negativity of the situation, but you can’t stop trying.

And now all of that is officially over. I found a nice job that pays way better than my last job and doesn’t ask me to work nights and weekends. But I am going to miss some parts of being unemployed. (And please, please don’t call it Fun-employment. I can’t fucking stand when people make up new words to make themselves feel superior. I mean…what an asshole! You’re out of a job. Just call it what it is. Unemployment. What you do with your time might be SUPER fun, but let’s not overstate things.) I’ll miss being able to luxuriate over my book and coffee in the morning. And I’ll miss taking walks to pet the bookstore cats. Here’s what I did on my … unemployment. Aside from looking for work everyday. There is a lot of time to fill.

• I read about twenty four books. 
• I learned three new songs on my ukulele. And I started a YouTube channel where folks can hear said songs. Here!  
• I auditioned for The Voice, in L.A. You can read all about that, HERE!
• I attended over ten interviews, and WorkSource Orientation, and over twenty phone/face-time interviews.
• I discovered Snap Chat. It’s weird. I like it.
• I met friends for drinks, karaoke, movies and encouragement.
• I attended ComiCon for the first time. It was enjoyable except for all of the people.
• I wrote three short stories, and began writing part of my um… what’s a less pretentious word for memoirs?
• I colored in my coloring books.
• I visited used bookstore weekly. Just for the cats.
• I wrote letters to my pen pal in Pasadena. He wrote back.
• I watched a shit ton of Law & Order episodes. I had a whole system going. One 20 sided die for which season. Then, add a 6 side – 1 to determine which episode. I was determined to prove that the entire cast of Grey’s Anatomy got their start on Law & Order. I know I could have gone straight to IMDB, but that takes the joy of discovery out of it. Anyway, I didn’t make it through all of the episodes, and I was only watching Law & Order Classic. I hadn’t even delved into Law & Order SVU. Which comes with extra rape, murder and bad child actors. Oh, and Ellen Pompeo was on L&O at least twice and both times went down for murder. I’ll write up my findings later.
• I got lost both on foot and on the bus. A lot. It’s a good way to see the city!
• My BFF visited for a week. I hadn’t seen him in over two years and it was overdo. He’s the one friend who is allowed to kick my ass. He got me motivated. And I had fun showing him the sights and letting him buy yummy food for me!
• I cleaned, cooked and did a lot of chores. I look forward to splitting those duties once again.
• I went to many parks and museums. Yay art!
• I played games and relaxed with my boyfriend. I look forward to having a job which allows that to continue.

So, that was it. I got a little despondent there at the end, but it helped to remember that I am not my last job. Or any job. Identifying with your work is just another way for Ego to exert itself. Luckily I have never had a job where that was really an issue. I mean what kind of an asshole gets a big head over being an Admin Assistant or Program Director? Or worse yet, a Bookseller who makes under minimum wage? If I made those roles part of “who I am” then I would have taken a long run off a short cliff years ago. Even if you have a job you LOVE and you are GOOD at it… that isn’t WHO YOU ARE. Above all, you are a human being. What you like or do… or don’t do… is beside the point.

The Year We Make Contact

It seems that everyone with a blog must do an end of the year-New Year-What-Happened-What-I-am-Gonna-Do-Next-Year-Wrap-Up Type thing. And, looking back 2009 was (to quote Ol’Blue Eyes) a pretty good year. Or was it. Other than the Democrats taking back the white House with an historic election, all I can remember is a lot of death and destruction. Michael Jackson – the King of Pop, and arguably the most famous person in the world – died. As well as Farrah and The Swayze. Swine Flu hysteria hit. Tsunami’s and plane crashes killed thousands of people. North Korea let us know they still have nukes and they will test them when they want to. And Oprah quit! What the hell 2009? What’s with the doom and destruction? If the best thing you could manage to give us was ‘Twilight Mania’, then I say bring on the new year.

I recall celebrating last year with my friend Rob, and he said that 2009 would start off rocky, but end on an up note. And it was rocky. Personally, I had a tough year. I felt like I fought my way through most of it. I got fired. I had my work papers revoked. I had more than four jobs and that’s just the work side. But, I think my wise friend Rob was right – it is indeed the end of the year and things managed to fall in line. I just wish they would have thought about doing that a little earlier than December. But, hey…who am I to complain. I am here, in Prague LEGALLY. I have a great job, great friends and a fella that I am pretty much crazy about. I also (finally) have a new flat to call my own. No roommate hassles anymore.

So, what’s to look forward to in 2010? Well, I for one have some awesome plans. And by awesome I mean both ‘cool’ and daunting. First, like everyone does this time of year, I have had to take a look at my health. I am doing pretty damn good. I look about 10 years younger than I am (so I am told) and I am doing ‘alright’ where my weight is concerned. But I could be doing better. I will be 36 years old in a few weeks and I have to start thinking about the big picture. I don’t think people smoke in the big picture, at least not when they are old enough to know better and don’t have an actual addiction. I smoke about two times a week and I don’t really ever feel the need to smoke. My boyfreind (who is a fairly heavy smoker) asked me why I smoke if I have a choice not too. I don’t have a good answer so…I am gonna stop. Right after my Birthday.

I am also going to start eating (gulp) more vegetables. I hate vegetables, but if I want to continue looking and feeling hot – then I think I have to try and befriend broccoli and cauliflower. Dear lord, help me. I could stand to lose about 20lbs, and that ain’t gonna happen eating gummie bears and beer.

My BIGGEST plan for 2010 is musical in nature, and I am pretty jazzed about it. As most of you know, I like to sing. I sing once a week at karaoke and each week someone says the same thing to me: You have an amazing voice! Are you in a band? (no) Well, you should be.

And I should be. My friends keep telling me that they would come see me, and I know I would do well. The problem up until now has been that everyone I know who plays anything here already has a band or two. No one has time for me. And, I don’t play any instrument well enough to accompany myself. It was then that I decided to learn the guitar. I thought it was a perfect solution until I remembered that my hands are too small to make the chords (same with the piano). So, what’s a girl to do? Well, my fella sent me a YouTube video of one of my favorite songs – Rich Girl, by Hall and Oates – and it was sung by a girl playing THE UKULELE! It was a “lightbulb moment”. I wrote to my mom to see if she still has the one that we got in Hawaii 20 years ago, and she does! So, ladies and germs I am going to learn the ukuele and I am going to start having my own little shows here in Prague. Damn Straight.

Watch out 2010, cause I’m a comer.