The 5 Best Shows You Aren’t Watching

I don’t own a television. I haven’t owned one since 2005. It’s not that I don’t like T.V shows, it’s that I don’t like having to pay cable companies in order to watch them. So I don’t. I watch the shows I like on-line. That way I can keep up with American Idol, Downton Abbey and The Biggest Loser commercial free, cable free, and hell, just free! It also makes me very mindful of what I watch. I can’t just turn it on and see “what’s on”. I have to make a conscious decision to watch television. After I decide what I want to watch (if anything) I have to find it online, and then stream it. It’s still super fast and easy, but I don’t end up wasting time on crap TV like The Real Housewives of Who the Fuck Cares, or Zooey Deschanel in “The Zaney Adventures of a 33-year-old Woman Desperately Trying to Convince the World and Herself that she is 25… Which is also a rip off of Three’s Company”… or whatever it’s called.

You can stream all of these shows on-line. Or on TV or whatever you do to watch shows.

  1. Anthony Bourdain: The Layover (The Travel channel) – url-2Take Anthony Bourdain, give him a film crew and a 24 hour layover in a cool city and see what happens. It’s awesome. It not only inspires you to check out new places in a city you might already know (or live in!), but you get to feel super cool if he talks about one of your favorite places. He spends time talking to locals about their favorite spots to take visitors. He asks cab drivers where to get the best street food. He gets wasted at a tiki lounge with another chef. It’s all very good fun. Check it out.
  2. Shameless (Showtime)????????????????????You think you have a fucked up family? This show (starring William H. Macy as “Frank Gallagher”. The world’s worst, and I mean WORST, alcoholic/drug abusing father. Ever.) gives dysfunction a whole new name. And that name is Gallager. But this show isn’t for the faint of heart, or folks who can’t stand to hear toddlers drop the F-bomb. And that’s saying nothing about the nudity, violence, barf inducing filth or, graphic sex scenes between any number of people of any varied race, gender, age or sexual orientations. I’ll just say there is an awesome lack of dignity in this show, and I love it. It’s funny, over the top, and even sweet at times.
  3. Louie (FX) – This show is like walking inside Louie CK’s mind. It’s funny, sweet, sad and often times uncomfortable. Louie tackles every subject you can think of: kids, single fathers, drinking, working, sloth, dating, assholes, pizza, crazy people, New York City, religion… You get the picture. If you are not a fan of Louis CK yet, then you haven’t watched this show.  Here’s a little bit. 
  4. King of the Nerds (TBS)22588_001_0358_R (1)That’s right, NERDS! It’s a reality based game show that pits nerd against nerd in wacky nerd based challenges like life-size chess, and live gaming. They all live together in “Nerdvana” and compete to see who will sit atop the Throne of Games! I know! Of course there are some totally hate-able and obnoxious freaks who you hope get voted away quickly, but the show also has contestants who work for NASA and are brain surgeons and shit like that. It’s a show that let’s the “nerds” show off their unique talents and show us that they are more than just characters in a silly movie. Speaking of which, the show is hosted by Curtis Armstrong and Robert Carradine. If you don’t know who they are, then you don’t deserve to be called a nerd.
  5. The Taste (ABC)la-dd-the-taste-recap-20130129-001Yes, another cooking game show. I know. But this is my first! I never got into Top Chef, and I occasionally check out Iron Chef, but nothing solid. This show has a twist. Four “Mentors” blind taste each contestants food and judge it purely on taste. With ONE BITE. Only. They don’t know if it is a man or woman, pro chef or home chef – they just get one bite, and that’s it. Only after they vote do they see who cooked it. It’s pretty good fun. It made me both hungry and want to cook, so that’s good. And the “mentors” are Nigella Lawson, Ludo Lefebvre, Anthony Bourdain and Brian Malarkey. The banter is good, the food looks good and the competition is fierce.

Mean Girls

One thing I have always envied men is their ability to say what they mean. For the most part, men don’t beat around the bush. If they are happy, you know it.  If they are angry they let you know. Men will hit each other for no good reason, but then its over. I don’t condone the complete moronic notion of getting in fights over silly things like “Yo man. Did you just look at me?” But I do appreciate the up frontness of the emotion. Of course, I am a woman and we have a thing or two to learn about being up front. Women will befriend you and confide in you while at the same time start having an affair with your man. That’s just cold.

Anyone who has seen the LiLo masterpiece “Mean Girls” has a little idea of what girls are capable of. Sure that movie is about high school age girls, but don’t dilute yourself into thinking that it gets better with age. Some women just never grow out of being mean to other women. And that my friends, pisses me off. It is an insidious thing for women to be cruel to one another over anything, but especially over things like looks or men. I was unfortunate enough to watch an episode of “Real Housewives of…” (I don’t know where they were – they were on some sort of vacation) on the plane back from America. I was shocked at the amount of catty, backstabbing, ugliness that these women showed to one another. There was nothing but malice and disrespect.

I have tried very hard to cleanse my life of both men and women who cause me any form of emotional harm. I have a small circle of close friends in America, and a small circle of close friends here in Prague. I don’t mind telling you that most of these people are men. And, I don’t think that it is an accident. My male friends take me a face value and don’t let me get away with bullshit. I have said this before and I mean it – If I choose to spend time with you, that means something. I actually like you. I don’t spend time with people I do not care for. It wastes my time.

Which brings me to the point of this little rant. I have recently (and through no fault of my own) come into contact with a few “Mean Girls”. They had some friends that travelled in the same circles as I do and well, paths crossed. I won’t go into detail, but they have done everything that a girl shouldn’t. There have been boundaries crossed, disrespect, catty chit chat and just plain old two faced bitchiness. I haven’t had to deal with this sort of bullshit in years, so I was kind of taken aback. It’s funny, but my first instinct was to punch them in the face. I didn’t, but I bet most of this would be over by now if I had. But, what I did was try to be the bigger person and just let it go. Which, also obviously I haven’t. I would like a world free of them, but I keep running into them and its pissing me off.

Girls like that exist in a special little world where their actions have no consequences. It’s sad really. I don’t get how they have friends, or boyfriends… or parents. It’s sad that I had to put up with it, and its sadder still that I let it get to me. But, I am doing the only thing I know how. I guess it comes down to simple fact that boys will be boys and girls are manipulators. It sucks (and of course there are exceptions) but its the way it is. I am just trying to steer clear of them and their bullshit and be a good person.

Which is hard to do when you just really want to punch someone in the face.