I’m So Over…

Here is a short list of things I am so very tired of hearing about, seeing, or doing. I will post a counter list of “Things I’m Crazy About” next, so you can keep your “Why are you so negative?” comments to yourself. Thanks. Enjoy!

  1. Hangovers – Thanks, but no thanks. You’d think after seven years in the Czech Republic I’d be used to hangovers. But here’s the thing: most Czech beers don’t leave you with a hangover. True story. So, fast forward three months and give Alicia some American beers, whiskey and one night out on the town and I’m over it. Done. Spending the day feeling like I want to barf, poop and die all at the same time isn’t very alluring for me. For that matter either is getting shit faced drunk. There are plenty of other ways to have a good time.
  2. People who use the words “Fail”, “Brosef”, “Amazing”, “Genius”, “Shaming” – Please stop. You are only hurting yourself. I know it seems cool to jump on the Trendy Bandwagon, but it isn’t. That bandwagon is full of other people JUST LIKE YOU who think they are being clever and witty and original when in fact they are just regurgitating phrases they heard on SNL, Twitter, Facebook or Buzzfeed. You are better than that and you know it. Stop trying so hard, because it just makes you look sad.
  3. Bad SportsmanshipI can’t tell you how completely exhausting it is to play games with children who haven’t been taught how to lose. It is an elegant skill that seems to have been totally forgotten in this country. We are teaching our youth that they should expect to win, that if they get bored (read: they are losing) they can just quit, and that whining when they lose is acceptable. Where do they get this? Oh, right… grown ups. Just look at the Presidential debates of this last month. The President of the US was condemned for not being aggressive enough in a debate when I thought he showed poise and grace. Contestants on reality shows whine or cry when they lose. Teaching people that if they follow the rules of the game they will win is not a good idea. Just because you lose doesn’t automatically mean the other guy is cheating.
  4. Women who use ‘The F word’ excessively, and give ‘The Bird’ in pictures  My fella and I went into a little shop yesterday. Within five minutes of speaking with the female clerk I was ready to leave. She dropped the F Bomb at least ten times in that five minutes. Classy. I don’t like it when men do it either, but I feel a special kind of gross when I hear women do it. It doesn’t make you cooler to talk like a trucker. It doesn’t make you look like Johnny Cash when you throw up the middle finger in a party picture. It makes you look like an idiot. A cliché. Kristen Stewart. Excessive cussing coupled with tongue out, middle finger up pictures are no better than the stupid looking “duck lips” photos that ladies are ever so fond of. Please stop. You look like a tool.
  5. Owls, Sloths, and other animals that look like Zooey Deschanel I know, animals are cool. And the baby ones are super cute. I get it. But maybe we can all decide that just because Kristen Bell is into sloths doesn’t mean I have to be. Just because Zooey Deschanel’s stylist decided that owls were hip, doesn’t mean you have to go along for the sad ride. Just because H&M is selling printed screen T’s of owls playing with kittens doesn’t mean it is a good idea to wear it. Why? Well, because everyone else already is. Yeah, you are so off the beaten path, so totally not mainstream with your owl ring that everyone else has. Le sigh…
  6. GLEE I tried really, really hard to stick with Glee. I suffered through love triangles, John Stamos, and even a horrific retelling of The Rocky Horror Show. But I stuck with it. Why? I am a musical theater geek. I admit that proudly. I love movies and TV shows that have singing and dancing. But Glee jumped the shark this year with the introduction of Wade “Unique” Adams – a cross dressing, singing and dancing, pro equality character who looks like a cross between Tyler Perry and Patti LaBelle. The dude is talented, no doubt. He can sing. But why, WHY do I have to watch that? I get it, Glee is a show about including everyone, and a show that promotes gay equality. YAY! But putting a teen kid in drag and having him sing Beyoncé songs doesn’t further your platform. It makes your platform look like a joke. Glee made a few wrong turns this year, but none as wrong as Unique.

Get Over It

Have you seen the GQ cover and photos of the GLEE cast? Pretty steamy, right? Or, not really. Either way its nothing new. BritBrit danced around in a catholic school girl uniform and people took notice. So, I guess putting some attractive stars of a very popular show in their undies in “school inspired” locations is gonna get some very bored housewives overworked.


It seems that the Parents Television Council (the what?) has deemed these photos as “hyper sexualized” and says its wrong because these actors play teens. Sure the shoot was done by famous douche bag Terry Richardson, but that is not really a good reason to scream “inappropriate”. The fact of the matter is that these actors are NOT teenagers. Shall I say it again? They are NOT teenagers. They are ACTORS and if they want to play porn star dress up for a men’s magazine, then let them. They are adults. Is it sexist? Absolutely. But good luck fighting that. If you don’t like the pictures then don’t buy the magazine. Geesh. Seems so simple to me. 

GLEE!

When I moved here in 2006, I had already been off of T.V. for about two years – a thought that makes some people I know squirm with uncomfortableness. I grew up watching more T.V. than most people should watch in their lifetime, so I feel like I have gotten my fill. I didn’t go through the DT’s as some kid’s do when they get here: HOW WILL I WATCH MY SHOWS!? I have actually seen people move back to America just so they could watch T.V. Anyway, my point is I am a little behind when it comes to the Boob Tube. Just last winter I watched The Soprano’s. I had no idea it had ended. When I was in Mexico, I started watching DVD’s of The Wire and got hooked on that. Then someone told me about Dexter and the rest is

a total waste of my time! I watched an entire season of America’s Next Top Model! I watched Project Runway, Nurse Jackie and some Family Guy, some Simpson’s and The Office. Sure, some of it is fun – but really – most of it is a waste of time. I liked my life a whole lot better before someone showed me how to “stream”. I like books, and I am just not paying enough attention to them. Sure, I watch less crap than most of my American counter parts, but that is no excuse. I don’t WANT to watch that much! I think TiVo is the devil, but that is another blog.

But then came GLEE.

Oh dear lord. My best friend hit the high C on the head when she said that the producer’s of that show must have a direct link into my head and are making a T.V. show out of it. GLEE taps into that gay, LIZA loving, misfit, musical theater, sequin wearing nerd that dwells not very far beneath the bitchin’ exterior that is … me. I mean the first episode had the cast singing (in five part harmony, no less!) “Don’t Stop Believin'”! I almost pee’d my pants when the AMAZING Kristen Chenoweth appeared and sang “Maybe This Time” from – CABARET! And, to top it all off, the season finale featured the amazing “Rachel” singing my karaoke standard “Don’t Rain on My Parade” only to be followed by “You Can’t Always Get What You Want”. Now, if you have known me for a while, you know why this show is so made for me.

I know, you are thinking – what a total dork. And maybe you are right. I am a dork. But the lovable kind. This show makes singing seem as cool as I think it is! It even features a vile Cheerleading coach played by the amazing Jane Lynch. She plays Sue Sylvester – a woman who’s aim in life is to bring down the GLEE Club. Here is one of my favorite quotes of hers to Will, the Glee Club director: “You’ll be adding revenge to the long list of things you’re no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn’t look like a lesbian.”

And, I just found out the GLEE got a ton of nominations for the Golden Globes. This makes me happy. I have been a Musical Theater dork my whole life. I love show tunes and I love singing in harmony. I believe that music, and singing can bring out the best in you. I watch old MGM musicals and consider Danny Kaye, Judy Garland and Gene Kelly some of my favorite actors. The fact that Glee is out there, and that people are responding in a positive way to it gives me hope. So, I guess it’s okay if I watch a little T.V. Just as long as there is some bitchin’ choreography, pithy dialog and some awesome music.

Thanks Glee.